Tuesday 8 August 2017

Reliving The Pain, Yet Again.

Here I go again.  Or, here I not go again.  

This is getting frustrating.  I've been trying to get the blogging momentum back.  Now, once more, I'm having hassles from the British government in regards to my benefits entitlement.  Benefits I wish I didn't need but are my financial lifeline. 

After a total breakdown from nearly nine years of systematic workplace bullying, physical, financial and psychological, my doctor signed me off work.  

This meant I needed assistance from the government.  Assistance that makes me feel like a criminal every time I have to go to a face-to-face assessment to justify my case as to why I should still be entitled to help.  Such meetings force me to dredge up a painful past full of horrific memories I'd rather not choose to relive.  

I went to such an assessment last Friday, August 4.  The assessment played on my mind from the day, about a month ago, when I got the appointment notice through my letterbox.  I now have to wait a few weeks to find out if I still have my benefits.

It's really difficult to concentrate on writing when I have such worries.  I'm angry that the bullying, from over twenty years ago, still impacts my life.  Bullying that cost me my marriage, my home and very nearly the final remnants of my self-respect as the drinking that ensued almost cost me my life.    

I shall be shutting off the comments section again.  I need time to reflect upon this latest saga and do my utmost to embrace the positive possibilities that may still come out of this worrying situation.  

Distractions can come in mighty handy.  A distraction such as the video below.
I've been watching this show.  The inspiration, the laughter, the profound moments, demonstrate the joy that can be found in life.